Things to Do For Lottery Winners...
Or not!
The Hoser's Guide
A fool and his money are soon parted, as the saying goes. Lottery winners who aren't used to being mega-rich may find themselves going through their winnings at a breakneck speed. But how does it actually happen? Do they just wake up one day and realise there’s nothing left? Or, are they fully aware of what’s happening and just don’t care? Here we look at a few of the more bemusing ways lottery winners frittered away their newly found wealth – Brewster’s Millions, anybody? What would you do with a US Mega Millions jackpot for instance? Would you manage to spend a 10th of it in one day?
However, this does not mean that you have to follow those hosers' examples. Read, have fun and be warned! Winning the lottery is everyone's dream, but when it comes true, you have to know how to cope with it. What are the things to do for lottery winners? or not! Our hoser's guide is ready to present you everything you shouldn't do after winning the lotter, such as:
Blow your cash on a sleazy comedy wrestling show…
Wait, what?
19 year old Jonathan Vargas got lucky on the US Powerball, winning the $350 Lakh jackpot in 2008. And what do teenage hosers do with their money? That’s right, they do stupid stuff! Initially, he was just interested in the same things as any of us: a new house, a new car, a bit of bling, etc. However, it wasn’t long before he had his eureka moment: a TV show with scantily clad women wrestling in a pink ring, with the matches interspersed by comedy sketches. Yep... Solid gold! Unfortunately, it turned out that the world wasn’t ready for Jonathan’s visionary approach, and ‘Wrestlicious’ tanked after a single season.
Take up a new hobby, like crack.
Willie Hurt, a respected family hoser and pillar of the local community, won $31 Lakh in 1989. After some deliberation, he resolved that a crack addiction was the best way to invest his winnings and got down to work right away.
Within a year he had lost custody of his children and was filing for divorce, which makes us wonder if he should have pursued a different investment portfolio. There has been now word of him for a decade or so, and we hope that he managed to straighten out and find a more
wholesome hobby. Like bull-fighting, or Russian Roulette.
Blow it on stupid stuff.
Callie Rogers was just 16 when she won £18.75 Crore at the UK National Lottery. In the UK, anyone who turned 16 can play the lottery, which means there are many young winners in this draw. And what do young hosers do again? Yup. Drugs, booze, and breast operations don’t come cheap. Callie claims to have spent £2,50,000 on class A drugs and parties alone. Whatever stupid stuff she spent it on, she managed to get rid of her entire fortune and now has just £2,000 in the bank. Still, that’s a heck of a lot more than some of the other hosers on this list.
Keep hundreds of thousands of dollars cash in your car.
Jack Whittaker won the $31.5 Crore PowerBall jackpot in 2002, and went on to share his wealth with strippers in clubs up and down West Virginia. On one of these charitable visits in 2003, the hot-blooded hoser was relieved of $5,45,000 cash that had been left in his car. He blamed this on being drugged by the server, which could well be true, but it sure didn’t stop the same thing from happening again in 2004 when a further $2,00,000 was stolen – again from his car. Seriously Jack?
Party like it’s 1999!
Gerald Muswagon won $100 Lakh on the Super 7 jackpot in 1998, but by 2006 the good time hoser had blown the whole lot of it on parties, drugs, women, and cars. He even bought a house he named ‘the party pad’, locally famous for wild evenings and drunken debauchery. Predictably, this lifestyle attracted the wrong kinds of people who managed to pump the dollars right out of him, and he was back at work within 10 years.
Take out a loan before you even cash the cheque.
Suzanne Mullins won herself a hefty $40 Lakh in the Virginia lottery in 1993. She was so excited that she decided that she needed to start spending right away. With the pesky cheque taking too long to clear, she embarked on a brave course
of action worthy of a true hoser – taking out a high interest loan and spending like there was no tomorrow. You might have guessed that this was probably not the best idea in the world, and she was later taken to court by the Florida company with debts of $1,54,147 - from $40,00,000 to stony broke.
Release your inner chav.
Before winning £97,36,131 on the National Lottery in 2002, Michael Carroll was well on his way to achieving 'chav' status (UK term for redneck/trailer trash). With minor convictions for joyriding, theft and criminal damage, he now had the golden opportunity to turn his life around and make something of himself. Of course, none of that was on the cards for this charming hoser, who painted his self proclaimed title ‘King of the Chavs’ onto his black Mercedes van and embarked on a happy go lucky crime spree. He claims to have spent £12 Lakh on his cocaine habit, and a court once heard that he had 42 previous offences to his name. At the time, he was in court for wielding a baseball bat in a Christian disco – classy! He was sentenced to 9
months in jail for this crime, and was later sent back to prison for failing a drug test while on parole. He's now working in a biscuit factory in Scotland, having burned through his whole fortune.
However, it seems that redemption may have taken place as the money evaporated "I have changed," he insists. "l'm not doing drugs anymore and I'm not ripping about in fast cars. I've done what I've done. I've had a laugh, had fun. I've got two beautiful girls. What more could I ask for?". We salute you, king of the chavs.
So there you have it, many different roads but all of them leading to the same old Stony Brokeville. What strategies would you use to try and avoid becoming like one our hosers? An accountant might help you keep track of your money, but you’re gonna need a solid group of friends to tell you a firm ‘no’ when you have your very own ‘Wrestlicious’ moment. So, play on LottoSmile, a 100% secured platform and maybe you will get your very own chance at handling a million-dollar lotto fortune! If you do, we hope to hear your heartwarming lottery story! You can try out your luck in a multitude of lottery games on LottoSmile! Buy EuroJackpot tickets, play the Australia Monday Lotto; take your lottery experience to the next level! Good luck!